update and why I think I'm most like Kangin and a little about Sungmin

This week I was a tad mellow. Sometimes I think to myself, when there are so much things to do, why I am a (yes I admit: crazy) SuJu fan. A few things happened, and I had a eye-opening moments. well it was kind of mellow for several reasons. I don't regret being a fan; however, I wonder why sometimes, over so many artists that exist out there. Although, I do know the reason why. I usually have a lot of reservation and propriety when it comes to a lot of things; but sometimes, you just need that outlet. And I think I would like to let SuJu to be my outlet in a way (of course, besides God.) That's with no doubt. But anyway, I was very mellow this week. I admit I didn't listen to as much SuJu songs or done anything much with them, maybe post some few posts here and there; of course, this is a pique of my school work. But I usually have a GREAT deal of RESERVATION about a lot of things. I am usually conservative; but with Suju, I just let it all out. But this week was terribly mellow for me. I just didn't feel like doing anything. It took me a lot to even do schoolwork, sometimes. I think it's a great deal of stress from school with a lot of things due.

Why I think I'm like Kangin out of all of them? Well, let me tell you something (and this may sound really retarded.) I thought about Sungmin. He's not gay; but he has has feminine quality; most feminine out of all the boys. Heck, I think he's a lot more feminine than I am, for sure. he's not afraid to show his feminine side (again he's not gay.) I hate it when people make that assumptions. what about for tomboys? huh? (although tomboys are more acceptable.) But then again, that is a whole new discussion. It is such a taboo for guys to show his feminine side. But anyway, that encouraged me actually (of course for other reasons too), to show my natural tomboyish ways. I am a natural tomboy, although I was "taught" not to be so. This goes along in high school, when I wanted women's softball team; and I was discouraged to do so. I used to get excited about getting a new legoes set and/ or train set, than a Barbie doll. But anyway, trust me, I am a natural tomboy. I may not act like that or appear to be, but I am. Trust me, I am. I don't know why I am proving it to people. But anyway. That's besides the point. So if I am a tomboy, that discounts about 3/4 of the boys (I mean they do have their manliness... haha). The manliest guys there are Hangeng, Kangin and Siwon (in my opinion; you could disagree.) I don't consider myself like Hangeng because compared to me, he's too happy. With Siwon, he's kind of soft-manly type; kind of, too perfect in too many ways (too gentle to be me.) With Kangin though, he has that ruggedness and sense of adventure that I could relate to. There 's a lot of him (compared to the others) in which I could relate best to. Kind of some kind of impetuousness, **=)RUGGEDNESS=)**, inpatience, hotheadedness, but sometimes goofy/ funny (and endearing/ caring at the same time.), I need to have my say (I think that is the best word to use.) Sorry, this may seem like a very retarded post that makes little to zero sense. if this makes no sense, this means I seriously need a vacation. And vacation I mean being somewhere not in NYC ( preferably out of country.) But what I say is true.

I am obviously the opposite of Sungmin, for obvious reasons.