언니에 encouragment

So my sister, and she knows about it all, in person, because she's my confidence. I love to talk to her because I don't fear judgment from her. She is my unni*, older sister. Only she could rebuke me when I don't wake up on time for church (which did happen.) well i asked her, I might be wasting up my fudging time because I am 29 years old, not 13, 14, 15, ... 19 years old, where most fans are at that age. I am sure there are closet fans. But I am not a closet fan. I am open about it, and later I regret being so open about it. Although i am not declaring that I am doing anything illegal (although I don't want to pass judgment on anyone.) but anyway. I lost my track of thoughts ( realize I don't edit any of my writings here.) What you see is what you again. And again, my flow of thoughts are weird now.

So i told my sister who is 5 years older than me,who is like my soul sister, I asked her am I wasting my time. Should I stop this stupid fandom, which i am sure a lot of people find it ridiculous. She says, no! She was shocked when i said this. She was actually sad when I said this.She assured me to be myself and not worry about what other people think. I timidly said okay. Maybe I am overanalyzing....
But it is amazing to find a fellow female who is so understandable and we know each other so well. I don't feel judged, and it feels awesome. Sometimes i ask myself what the fudge am I doing? I do reply and comment on some of their pictures, and they may think what the fudge is wrong with this noona? Sure it's fine to have 13 years old do this, but she is 29? That comes to my mind. But I shouldn't care, I am supporting them.

But yea, that did cross my mind. What am I doing? Am I wasting a heap load of time when I could be saving the world (but how? - good question!) I've never been a fan of anything before this. Do I regret haphazardly finding their videos (Sorry Sorry, It's you) on youtube. Am I really wasting my time? If I am a fan, I shouldn't be ashamed to be their fan. I mean it would be easier if i was 16. But I ain't 16. Maybe the Super Junior members on twitter thinks I am some psycho by now.