Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My testimony (just on the day I got "saved."
I will make this brief. Rewind 11 years ago. Went to a youth group retreat I didn't want to go. I was lonely. HS was death to me, although I had few wonderful friends. I was in the dismal part of my life. I was 18. I graduated from high school (such a relief.) I was a low point of my life. It was about 2 months before I entered Carnegie Mellon University. Despite it being the #23 ranked school of the entire US, I was still dissatified w/ my life. So I was forced to go to this retreat. First two days: not happy. Feeling left out, insecure. Blah blah. Last day come. UNEXPECTEDLY, I heard a message of God-shaped heart. Given that I was baptized at 2 months old, went to church all my life. But I felt a strong surge of strong wind coming to me. My eyes were doubly opened and I felt the Lord touching upon me like never before. My ears were attuned. I prayed for the first time ever (I guess all the other 1s before my salvation was pretense prayers... I was going through the motions? well, I heard it, God shaped heart. Nothing could fill. Nothing else at all. Because the Man Upstairs. I prayed. Had physical manifestation of the Holy Spirit all throughout the evening. My youth group teacher asked me if I was going to go to heaven. I was stuck. I didn't answer. And afterwards, my life is history. It was early July.
I had thought about the message that this guest speaker spoke on (I can't remember who he was, what his name was.) I don't think he knew or knows that I got saved that evening. I saw myself even after 11 years trying to fill my happiness with other things in life... I could have climbed Mt. Everest and still would not have felt satisfied w/ my life. I could have 1,000,001 friends and still would be dissatisfied. I'd do it if it makes me happy: live my life in a mountain if that brings me joy. I thought about those words: God shaped heart. 3 words that changed my life, really. Or i think he said God shaped hole He could fill. At a youth group retreat I did not want to go to. 11 years ago. My life is significant because of that day. And I know Hangeng and Heechul, they are well known people. I am sure they are great friends and great people. But I do hope there would come a time when they would know what true joy is...... I am sure Siwon had tried to... Prayers. And I really am confused about Catholism (YS)
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